Awake
by Caitlynnn
Summary: It was the biggest moment of her life. She was ready. Her boyfriend, Eli, by her side. And everyone applauded as she gave her speech. But fate had other things in store. Clare Edwards was shot. They thought she was dead... But how is she still alive?


**I'm updating Collision. I always say this. But I really am soon. I have at least half of it done. So I'm sorry to the people that actually do care for that story… haha. But. I got inspiration to do this. So here is my third time at trying to do a "romance" chapter fic. It's going to start out angsty just like all my other shit. Ha. But, it WILL have a settle ending. I love realism. I'm not much of a romance reader. I cringe at the thought of it. Ha. But here it goes. **

**Reviews are cool. ~ **

**Don't own Degrassi. **

**I.**

She had her notes ready, already on her fifth cup of coffee as she prepares herself for her big speech. She's okay. She's strong. She can do this, she thinks to herself. God, why is it so cold out? But it's so close to summer. Must be her nerves. Or something along the lines.

The door opens and in comes Eli, with a cup of coffee. "Here... Oh. You already have a cup." he holds up the cup and Clare takes it, drinking it down. "Slow your roll, Edwards." he laughs, going near her and rubs her arms. "You ready for this?" He asks, with a little laugh. "You're not dying, you know." he reminds her, trying to calm her down, but she shakes him off.

"Wonder if I mess this up?" she pursues her lips as she slowly, drinks her coffee. But she can hear Mr. Simpson finishing up and she has to go up to the podium and do her speech. She's excited, yet totally unprepared. Or so she thinks. She actually has this. She's been preparing for graduation forever. But she will agree that she was surprised when she was valid Victorian. Who would have thought? Sure, she might be a little dumb when it comes to relationships. But with academics? She sores.

Mr. Simpson finishes and waves and he exits and Clare passes by him, he grabs onto her arm. "You can do this Clare." he says, with the tiniest smile. Eli is already going to his seat. Clare looks for him in the audience and she stares at him as she speaks. "My fellow graduations... We've made it!" she laughs lightly. "We've managed to all make it here safe with only a few tears and restless nights." everyone laughs like she's the funniest person ever. "But nevertheless we are here. And that's all that matters."

So far, the crowd is won. "When I came here, I was the dork, the nerd of the school. I wore a uniform! But luckily, things change. And I met my best friend, Alli." she smiles at her best friend, her cheeks pink. "And honestly? When Mr. Simpson told me I was valid Victoria, I freaked, but it's such an honour to speak to my fellow classmates."

Clare talks about life, the hardships, the depression. How people change, how classes kill you, how hard it is to get back up when you fall back down. The things that are life changing. The people you meet, the people you become enemies with. And then as she finishes, something happens. Something... Big.

"... Class of 2013 please-"

A shot fires. People scream.

Clare falls down the rabbit hole.

**II.**

Down the rabbit hole, that's what they call it when you're gone. You're no longer in your body, you're somewhere else. But you're dead. That's what they pronounce Clare. She's no longer here right now, please leave a message after the tone. She's busy travelling down the rabbit hole. Don't disturb her. She might never come back.

Clare Edwards: shot point blank. Hit her skull, her heart stopped beating. She was young, stupid, crazy, in love. Smart, intelligent, divine. That's what people said about her. She had a life ahead of her, a scholarship to one of the best schools. She was going somewhere in her life. That's what they say at least. Of course they say this, she's dead. You don't matter to people unless you die. That's the sad part. People rant on for hours of how amazing you are but you don't fucking know it because you're dead. The won't tell you this shit to your face. It loses points for them if they told you. So you become a no one, a pariah in the background of your own mind.

Who are you, Clare Edwards?

You were the kid that got shot at your graduation.

Hold the applause, please.

Her story had a twist in the plot. You all thought you knew Clare Edwards ending to her story. News flash. No one knows the ending of their story. People don't get shot. Oh wait, yeah they do. It happened to her.

**III.**

The pills are in his hands. He jacked them off the nurses her very sneakily. He's on the rooftop. The ground shaky below him, the sky a crisp grey. He smiles as he looks down. It could be a pretty awesome fall. He wants to reach the rabbit hole. He could be like Alice. He could be like Clare. Why kill yourself over some girl? He saw what happened to her.

It's not nice when pretty girls dies.

When someone is your life, the reason you exist, get up out of bed in the morning and in the next moment they get shot. How do you deal with that? You don't. So you do the next thing you can do which is kill yourself. Eli has been here before. A few years ago, stuff got hard, Julia died, it was his fault. He killed her. It was only logical to do it himself, this time he didn't kill Clare, but she was dead anyways.

The pain, the agony it's swelling up in his chest. It's getting harder for him to breathe. God why can't he breathe? It's like someone punched him and now he can't breathe from the impact. Death is a funny thing. It's funny how one moment someone could be so happy and then a second later they can be totally gone and out of this world. Do the come back? Is it possible to come back and haunt someone. If so he wants to be haunted by Clare. That's the only reason why he'll stay alive if she haunts him. Call him twisted, but it's true. But she's down under, six feet below. He wonders if she's spoken to Julia. Maybe they're talking about Eli. Maybe they both miss him. Cause he misses them.

"I can't take it anymore God." he says. He doesn't even believe in God. "I never ask you for anything. I don't even believe in you. But why are you torturing me? Am I one of those souls you torture and spit out because you can? Am I some kind of sick joke to you?"

He opens the bottle and he stares at the little magical pills. They do wonders.

"I'm not aloud to be happy."

**IV.**

The nurse hates this job, she hates taking care of dead bodies. Why does she have to do?

As she slowly takes off the wires, she hears a beep. It must be her phone or something. She shakes her head.

As she slowly takes the tube out of Clare's nose there's another beep. And the girl stirs. But no other movement.

"Oh my God." she whispers. The heart monitor is going crazy.

"She's alive." **She****'****s****alive.**

"SHE'S ALIVE!" she yells as she runs out of the room chanting she's alive.

Jake is the first to turn around and then Glen.

"Who?" his voices lifeless.

"Your sister is alive!"

In the hospital ward. A heart beats. But no one knows if the person inside the body is alive. How is that possible?

**V. **

His phone is going crazy. It's Jake. He rolls his eyes as he takes the meds in his hands and move it around in his palms. But Jake is eager. He keeps calling and calling. "What?" he snaps as he answers.

"Clare is alive."

**Here is the first chapter. What do you think? Should I keep going? **

**I'll probably keep going even if it sucks anyways. Haha. **

**Review? **


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